We have been on the wait list for about a week now. I keep thinking that I will be inspired to write some amazing blog entry about how I'm feeling. The relief, the anxiety. Yes, both. Really I've just been deep in thought lately. Wondering what our daughter's name is. Wondering if her mother is at peace with the decision she is going to make - or has already made. Our daughter might even be born already. Is she already in the orphanage? Can't they get her into Gladney's foster care sooner?
I don't know which is harder: Waiting to receive our referral with all of these questions in mind, or having a picture of our sweet daughter who is across the world whom we just can't bring home yet. I think being on the wait list will get harder as we approach the end - when we know we might receive a picture of our beautiful girl any day. But then we will know where she is. We will know that she is safe and healthy. That she is being loved on and carefully looked after. Now I just sit and wonder and pray for her and her birth mother. I just pray that I will get to sit down with her birth mother someday and ask her about her story. To ask her what was going on during these tough months. To tell her thank you.
Alex
The Buddy
The 'Rents
Seeing us for the first time. We sent this album with Carmen and Jim. It had pics of me, Doug and Vaughn.
With our friend Carmen who got to meet Banke when she and her husband traveled to bring their daughter home.
Banke with a caregiver.
Banke with a caregiver.
2 comments:
I am going to have to say the end of the wait list is harder than the beginning....although the beginning is really hard because you know you have a lot of time left.....but the magical excitement has worn off by the end and you are just ready to be done:) So I say bask in the excitement! Celebrate the wait because soon you won't want to anymore!
Alex, I have had similar deep thoughts recently. I pray for our birthmother and baby too, wondering if our baby is conceived yet. We are joining you all in the waiting phase. I'm excited to hear about your process! Christin
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